apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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