how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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