we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
