i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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