jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I want to make a zoo with you.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
