so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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