I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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