I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
