I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
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