He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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