i would punch a child for taco bell
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
