So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
