What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
