try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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