she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize