I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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