dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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