tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I am mentally ready for anal.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize