Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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