I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize