I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
