No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
