No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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