help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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