brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
