She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
