Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
