Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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