..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
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The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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