I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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