I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
