I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
if only i could text you this smell
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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