One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
