sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
