they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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