there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
