My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have herpe
just one?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize