im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize