smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
we should paint friendship bongs
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