Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.