Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen