is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
