so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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