i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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