don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
