Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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