Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
