I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
