You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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