I hope my margaritas pass through security.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
