I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
