wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just tell him i said nine months
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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