my vag is so smooth its legendary
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
be right there i have to get my cape
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
