Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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